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Rachael Hanel’s name was inscribed on a gravestone when she was eleven years old. Yet this wasn’t at all unusual in her world: her father was a gravedigger in the small Minnesota town of Waseca, and death was her family’s business. Her parents were forty-two years old and in good health when they erected their gravestone—Rachael’s name was simply a branch on the sprawling family tree etched on the back of the stone. As she puts it: I grew up in cemeteries.
And you don’t grow up in cemeteries—surrounded by headstones and stories, questions, curiosity—without becoming an adept and sensitive observer of death and loss as experienced by the people in this small town. For Rachael Hanel, wandering among tombstones, reading the names, and wondering about the townsfolk and their lives, death was, in many ways, beautiful and mysterious. Death and mourning: these she understood. But when Rachael’s father—Digger O’Dell—passes away suddenly when she is fifteen, she and her family are abruptly and harshly transformed from bystanders to participants. And for the first time, Rachael realizes that death and grief are very different.
At times heartbreaking and at others gently humorous and uplifting, We’ll Be the Last Ones to Let You Down presents the unique, moving perspective of a gravedigger’s daughter and her lifelong relationship with death and grief. But it is also a masterful meditation on the living elements of our cemeteries: our neighbors, friends, and families—the very histories of our towns and cities—and how these things come together in the eyes of a young girl whose childhood is suffused with both death and the wonder of the living.
- Sales Rank: #951148 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-03-01
- Released on: 2013-03-01
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"We’ll Be the Last Ones to Let You Down gently untucks dying, death, and mourning from the dark recesses of the drawer we Midwesterners, descendants of the stoic and neat, have kept it. Choice passages of Hanel’s story so affected me that my throat went sore swallowing grief. All the while, I had the sense of watching a determined child fall down, scrape her knee, and stand up, lip quivering, eyes glistening but resolute." —Nicole Helget, author of The Turtle Catcher
"Mesmerizing!" —Alison Bechdel, author of Fun Home
About the Author
Rachael Hanel is a writer, university instructor, and former journalist. She is the author of more than twenty nonfiction books for children, and her honors include two Junior Library Guild premier selections and two Minnesota Book Award nominations. Her essays have been published in the Bellingham Review, and two of her essays were selected as cowinners of the New Delta Review creative nonfiction contest in 2011; one of those was named a notable essay in the 2012 edition of The Best American Essays.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By ME
interesting
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Intriguing and well-written
By Angela Risner The Sassy Orange
I have to admit, I had never really thought about grave digging as a profession or a family business. This is an intriguing look into the business of death from the post-funeral perspective.
Hanel's father was a grave digger in a small Minnesota town where everyone knew everyone. He took care of the details most of us never think about - from making sure that artificial turf is used to cover the mound of dirt to caring for the caskets when the ground is too frozen to dig a grave. His goal was to leave no trace behind - no ugly gashes in the ground, just as if the body was placed underground by supernatural means.
Apparently her father was the backbone of the family, as after his abrupt death, the family falls apart. It's amazing how a family so used to dealing with death as a part of life was unable to deal with death when it came to their door.
Some favorite moments:
* Intuition would tell me that it's a natural human response to cry and wail and grieve with others. But over time, that's been pushed down, at least in our culture. The body in the casket is perfumed and made up. Green artificial turf is used to cover the mound of dirt at the gravesite. The funeral director carefully guides and choreographs every move to be sure nothing falls out of line. We had ways to neatly bottle up death, so we did.
* Funeral bells and wedding bells sound the same.
* We confronted grief as much as we confronted workk. Grief was just another thing to do well, to control and perfect.
I would be interested to read a book written by Hanel in about 20 years and see where life has taken her and how her family is.
Highly recommend.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
From a Book Review Blogger
By Sierra Klein
I would like to thank the author, Rachael Hanel for sending me her book. Keep an eye out as she will be a featured author of the month!
This book had my life written all over it. My parents own a monument company and growing up, I spent a lot of time in cemeteries since I was too young to stay at home. Rachael's story is a bit different from mine though. Her dad actually dug the graves where as my dad places the memorial in the cemeteries. Needless to say, I felt well connected to this book. You don't meet a lot of people who can share the "I grew up running around cemeteries playing" story. Like her, I would pose for pictures in the cemetery, maybe even on an interesting monument, just for fun. Even when my parents would take me camping, where would we pull over to have lunch? A cemetery. In her book Rachael tells about her life and how her dad, being a gravedigger, affects their lives and others. As a result, Rachael grew up surrounded by death; playing in cemeteries and attending wakes in her small Minnesota town of Waseca. She thought she knew what death was and knew there was nothing to be afraid of. But personal tragedy leads her to realize that death and grief are not the same things at all. This book is her personal journey to understanding death and grief through the stories of the residents of Waseca, both living and dead, and her own family's journey through grief.
For those of you who do not live strange lives like Rachael and I, you must check out this book. There is something for everyone to take away from her story and will leave you to pondering. A very enjoyable `real-life' read!!
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